Brynn Barineau

Month: May 2010

  • iOdyssey

    iOdyssey

    Saturday, May 8
    Computer running a little slow. Hmmm…

    Sunday morning, May 9
    Nothing.  Force quit. Restart. Nothing.  White screen.  Mad, frantic, hunt for instruction manual. Entire content of bookshelves and desk drawers on floor. Troubleshooting guide.  White screen. Now file folder with question mark and sickening click, click, click sound.

    Sunday afternoon, May 9
    Still nothing.  Discover 2002 iBook in closet. Realize I have time machine.  Plug external drive into antique laptop.  Sick feeling in stomach disappears.

    Sunday late afternoon, May 9
    Realize computer has not been plugged into the external drive since Tuesday.  All power points, handouts, and materials created for new class being taught this week are gone.

    Monday, May 10
    Day spent frantically recreating class material.  Finish at 3:00pm. 2 hrs before class.  One plus, retro clip art for power point presentation.

    Tuesday, May 11
    Take computer to closet sized and only Mac store in Rio.  In Portuguese explain, “My computer is not working.  It is very, very bad.  It does not wake up.  I need my computer. I love my computer. Please help me.”  Tech guy says my insurance is still good through July.  Any repairs or replacements will be free.  Silver lining.

    Tuesday night
    Power out in building.  Climb 12 flights of stairs.  Antique laptop battery does not hold a charge.  Cannot work on class materials.

    Wednesday, May 12
    Still recreating lost class material. Printer runs out of ink.  No spare cartridges.

    Thursday, May 13
    Return to Mac store. Due to limited knowledge of both computers and Portuguese, the diagnosis must be given face to face.  The hard disk is dead and all material gone.  “You have time machine, right?” New hd in 10-15 days.

    Friday, May 14
    Finally catch up on class materials.

    Saturday, May 15
    Try to catch up on Daily Show.  Adobe needs updated quicktime.  Quicktime needs updated firefox.  Firefox needs OS 10.3 or later.  My 2002 iBook has 10.2.  Oh, just forget it.

    Friday, May 21
    Tech guy calls.  Computer is ready.  Actual jumping for joy.

    Saturday, May 22
    Pick up computer.  Pick up printer ink.  Informed by computer during startup that it cannot sync with time machine because of different operating systems.  Spend afternoon loading OS Leopard, Snow Leopard, Bobcat and Cheshire cat onto computer.

    Sunday, May 23
    Download all episodes of Lost, House and Grey’s Anatomy for the last three weeks.  Click ok when time machine asks to backup for this computer.  Of course, isn’t that what it’s been doing for the last three years?

    Monday, May 24
    Spend day working on class materials.

    Tuesday, May 25
    Finally, get back to syncing new HD with time machine.  Sync.  Nothing changes.  My old data is not restored.  Open time machine and see four folders.  The earliest date is two days earlier. Heart stops.

    Tuesday morning
    Complete and total breakdown. Spend the next two hours berating myself for losing three years of writing, photos, videos, music.  All gone.

    Tuesday lunchtime
    Go through 2000 sent emails to recover drafts of essays and short stories.  Bursting into tears throughout process.

    Tuesday afternoon
    Allow rational thought to once again control actions.  Look more closely at time machine folder.  1 out of 36 files selected.  Hmmm.  Scroll down past blank space and discover all backups for previous two years.  Spend the next hours berating myself for being such an f’ing moron.

    Wednesday, May 26
    Cannot look at a computer.

    Thursday, May 27
    Take computer and external drive to Mac store.
    Me (in Portuguese): “I cannot sync together time machine and computer.  Needed to get snow leopard.  Now, it has snow leopard but I cannot sync.”
    Tech guy: “We don’t do that.  Call this man and he can help.”
    Me: “What do you do?”
    Tech guy: “Only hardware.”
    Me: Pause “Is Brazil going to get a real Mac store?”
    Tech guy: “No, probably not.  Here’s the guy’s card.”

    Friday, May 28
    Suck it up. Do some research. And sync the gd computer myself.  Try to update blog.  Internet is out for the entire neighborhood…Consider giving up all technology continuing to blog by carrier pigeon. Mother f&#)&@!!!

    Monday, May 31
    Computer is synced.  Internet is working.  Printer has ink.  New blog post going up.

  • Combatting Hypertension and Puritans

    Rio has a way of bringing out the Puritan in me.  I see a fourteen year-old girl in a thong and I’m thrown into what can only be described as a tizzy.  I turned into a flustered grandmother when handed a government sponsored condom upon arrival at the Carnaval parade.  My husband says not to be too hard on myself.  He says I’m just a product of my culture.

    I’d like to protest but he’s right.  Americans are so uptight about sex.  Brazilians seems to be more open about sex and the fact that people actually have it.  This open attitude is certainly embraced by the ministry of health as demonstrated by their carnaval themed condoms and a report they issued last week.

    A new study shows the rate of hypertension in Brazil has risen from 21.5% in 2006 to 24.4% of the population in 2009.  Hypertension is a problem the US and Brazil share but Brazil seems to be taking a slightly different approach to combatting the problem.

    As part of fighting hypertension, the health minister recommends, “besides eating five portions of fruits a day, you could try to have sex five times a day.”

    Take a minute and try to imagine an American cabinet member or any government official saying those words to the press.  If your head hasn’t exploded from trying to visualize something so inconceivable, move on to imagining the voices of the FOX news pundits.  And finally, picture the headline a week later announcing the resignation of this official.

    Here in Brazil, the newspaper article acknowledged the minister was joking and further quoted him seriously recommending, “dance, sex, a change in diet” and physical activity as ways to combat high blood pressure.  Then the article went on to discuss the report in greater detail.

    A government official recommends sex five times a day and the reporter focuses on hypertension statistics?  What is wrong with these people?

    As far as I know, the health minister still has his job and no reports have come in of children irrevocably damaged from hearing their government acknowledge that there are physical benefits from a healthy sex life.

    But before anyone starts applying for residency visas, a word of caution.  While Brazilians have fewer hang ups about sex, the country is far from being a bastion of liberal values.  If any daughters result from these hypertension treatments, good luck convincing their fathers to let them play soccer.  Soccer turns girls into lesbians.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me.  I’ve had french fries a few times this week and my husband is out of town.  I’ll just have to go to the gym.