Brynn Barineau

Tag: fashion

  • Dear Retailers, Stop Arranging by Color!!

    Dear Retailers, Stop Arranging by Color!!

    Colors of rainbow. Variety of casual clothes on wooden hangers, isolated on white.
    I’d like something yellow.  Tshirt, pants, socks, doesn’t matter. I just need yellow clothes.

    When was the last time you went shopping for clothes?  This past weekend?  Last month?  If you’re my brother, the answer is about 13 years ago when you could still be forced to accompany our mom.  He’s survived off of birthday and Christmas presents ever since.  Since those dates are December 21 and 25 respectively, he hasn’t owned a new pair of shorts in over a decade.

    For those who can remember your most recent spree, why did you go out in the first place?  Did you need new shorts for summer?  Had your kid outgrown all his socks?  Was it because you needed something orange?  Or blue? Was color in any way a factor in deciding to hit the mall?

    I’m curious because based on how the stores around me are laid out, color seems to be the primary characteristic people consider when shopping for clothes.  Items are not grouped by type of clothing or season; clothing, no matter what it is, is grouped according to color.  Miniskirt, pants, tank top, cocktail dress, if it’s any shade of purple it goes on the purple rack.

    This is the absolute worst way to arrange clothing!  I can’t even walk by a store that does this and not feel annoyed.  The person who thought this a good idea was obviously a guy with one semester of design classes and a mom who bought all of his clothes for him.

    Normally, I enter a store knowing that I need new shirts for work or a new dress for a dinner party.  Even on the rare occasion when I have no purpose other than spending birthday money, I know I will be avoiding miniskirts, culottes, and anything in animal print.  I would like to have these items together so that I don’t waste my time digging through them.  Never have I entered a store looking only for a color.

    Customer: Hi, I’m looking for some piece of green clothing.

    Sales Associate: You’re in luck! We have this lovely green blazer or tube top.

    Customer: No, those are a forest green.  I was hoping for something more lime green.

    Sale Associate: Well, we have these pajama bottoms.

    Customer: Perfect! I’ll take them.

    American college students prepping for a tailgate are the only people in the world who could legitimately have this conversation. This seems like a pretty small demographic to cater to, especially if your store is located in Brazil.

    There is a high end retail store on the corner of my block that arranges its merchandise this way.  At the moment, the front window has a long rack with every piece of purple clothing in the store.  While I think the clothes are pretty I will never shop there.  I would have to look through every single piece of clothing because that dressy, warm weather top I want could literally be ANYWHERE in the store.

    On principle, I refuse to shop at a store that forces me to look through all of its merchandise. This is, of course, a possible explanation for this mind-bogglingly inefficient organization.  I’ve also heard that it’s more visually appealing, an explanation I would accept from an art museum, but no one is walking into an international clothing retailer hoping for a visually arresting experience.

    This organizational style is neither unique to Brazil nor done by every store here, but the first time I ever tried to shop in a store laid out this way was in Rio.  A friend told me “Oh, this is how stores in Europe do it.”  Really? I find it hard to believe that the Germans or Swedes would ever adopt a practice this inefficient.  I’ve been in an Ikea.  They wouldn’t put a couch with a toilet seat on the grounds they’re both white.

    Thankfully, I have the Internet and can do most of my shopping without having to actually put on any of the clothes I’ve previously purchased.  But maybe if the store on the corner would arrange its clothing in a more helpful manner, I’d be willing to stop by and look at the lovely skirts those kids in Bangladesh made.

  • My Brazilian Gym Membership Part 3: Dress Code

    My Brazilian Gym Membership Part 3: Dress Code

    Most ads don't reflect reality...this one does. This is exactly how many women show up to my gym.
    Most ads don’t reflect reality…this one does. This is exactly how many women show up to my gym.

    I’ve been a regular at our new gym for one full week and I have to say I’m a bit of a standout.  People come up to me and ask where I’m from.  The trainers notice me and wave from across the gym.  I notice guys doing a double take.  Not to brag but people notice me.  Yup, I have the distinction of being the most conservatively dressed woman in the gym.

    With my t-shirts and running shorts, I might as well be using an American flag as a towel. It’s not just the fact that my abdomen is entirely covered that sets me apart.  I’m not wearing eyeliner or chandelier earrings and I haven’t left my waist-length hair streaming down my back. The Brazilian women at my gym are the sexiest collection of gym goers I’ve ever seen.  It’s like working out in a Flo Rida music video.

    There’s more leopard print here than on a jungle safari.  You can also see a good deal of paisley in all the colors of the rainbow.  Every outfit is perfectly matched and accessorized.  A flower-print sports bra paired with striped shorts?  Major faux-pas!

    Most of the women avoid the risks of mismatching by just going with the unitard.  Until recently, the unitard was, for me, merely a myth.  An extinct manner of dress that could be seen in historic records and frequently used in comedy sketches, like the toga.

    I’m pleased to report the unitard is alive and popular here in Brazil.  Surprisingly, there is quite a variety of cuts.  You have very low cut backs that dip so far down it’s possible to count every vertebra. Some of the unitards have cutouts on the sides and others have lace-up backs. They also have fronts cut so low there’s no way the woman can lift her arms over head without everything popping out.

    But lifting one’s arms is something most of the women never need to do since 95% of their workout focuses on legs.  Probably, to pull off their unitards.  And boy, do they pull them off.  In addition to being sex bombs, I’m pretty sure every woman there is also a triathlete.  These women sport six packs and perky, round butts without any jiggle.

    I’m not exaggerating when I say every woman in the gym is hardcore.  Yesterday, I scanned the gym specifically looking for women who could stand to lose a pound or two.  I saw maybe four.  Everyone else looked like an athlete and this includes the grandmothers in the room.  One woman, who could not have been younger than 60, followed me on the squat press and upped my weight by 40kgs. A very humbling moment.

    I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated by the overt sexiness of the women.  The women are sleek, styled and fit. I’m in baggy shorts with my ponytail askew.  In the end though, I’ll take a ponytail over sweaty hair clinging to my back.  For me, comfort trumps fashion but I will take a cue from their commitment.  These women, of all ages, have made exercise an integral part of their lifestyle.  That, unlike unitards, is something worth imitating.