Tag: expat life

10 Tips to Enjoy Rio de Janeiro

Alright, now that we’ve covered 10 ways to avoid trips to the police station and hospital in the last post, it’s time fill up all that vacation time with the second half of my list.

This one young tourist is feelin’ good after visiting Sugar Loaf and Praia Vermelha!

So cute!!!

11. Sugar Loaf or Pão de Açucar in Portuguese but that ão sound is crazy hard to make, so I think visitors to Brazil can be forgiven for using Sugar Loaf. In my opinion if you have a choice between Christ the Redeemer on Corcovado or Sugar Loaf, pick Sugar Loaf. The most crowded day I’ve been on Sugar Loaf involved 50% fewer people than my most crowded trip up Corcovado. (And let’s assume any day sightseeing during the Olympics will be in contention for “most crowded”.) Both sites have amazing views of Rio, but Sugar Loaf and Morro da Urca (the smaller mountain next to Sugar Loaf) have more space to wander around the forest, including a trail that wraps around the bottom of Morro da Urca and offers a great chance of seeing micos (the little marmosets you might remember from the movie Rio), blue butterflies, and all kinds of birds and other local animals. Yay, micos! Then you stop and have lunch at Praia Vermelha (Red Beach). That is a great morning!

It’s those same tourists again. This time visiting Praça XV in front of the Paço Imperial.

12. Arco do Teles You can go back to colonial Rio by walking around this street off of the square Praça XV. I recommend going for lunch and grabbing a prato feito, a daily set menu that usually includes a choice of meat, rice, beans, french fries, and salad. Then go back across the square to Arlequim, a fabulous music & book inside the Paço Imperial, the former Imperial Palace. The store is a great place to pick up books and music from Brazil and grab a coffee and dessert.

13. Walk Along Copacabana Pretty self explanatory. The rules for beach going apply. Wear your shorts, tshirt and flip flops, bringing a little cash tucked away. Work out attire is fine too. The sidewalk will be full of people jogging and riding bikes. Grab a coconut to drink and stop and watch a game of footvolley. It’s volleyball played with your feet and it’s awesome.

14. Confeitaria Columbo Oh man, go to the downtown (Centro) location late in the afternoon after you’ve spent the day walking and feel you deserve a generous reward. Confeitaria Columbo is a gorgeous Belle epoque cafe and both the decor and dessert are amazing. They do offer meals and salty snacks, but you’ll regret that choice when you see the desserts being delivered to other tables. I recommend the rabanada, a Brazilian version of french toast, or anything else on the menu honestly.

15. Juice Crawl A staple of Rio is restaurants and kiosks specializing in fruit juice. The variety of fruit available to be freshly squeezed is astonishing and I can promise, no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to try juice from every fruit on the menu. My cousin made the most valiant effort I’ve ever seen, and even after consuming 2.5 liters of liquid during a walk from Leblon to Ipanema, she’d not tasted a quarter of the fruits on the menus.

16. Jardim Botanico A beautiful Botanical Garden that offers a welcome chance to slow down and enjoy the tropical flora and fauna of Rio, including Tucans and parrots. There are beautiful plants there too, but I’m more of animal person. I remember the snack area having some super friendly stray cats, which my husband was a lot less thrilled about.

Two American tourists enjoying their informative yet enjoyable audio guides! Their big sister definitely did not order them to smile for this picture.

17. Museu Histórico Nacional If you like history or would just like to know something about Brazil other than it’s affinity for soccer and barbecue, visit the National History Museum. They have guided audio tours in a variety languages. You can hear Dom Pedro’s famous speech when he refused to to return to the Court of Portugal and declared himself emperor of an independent Brazil or learn about Princess Isabel who finally ended slavery in Brazil in 1894.

18. Churrasco If you eat beef, you need to do so while in Brazil. Find a churrasco. Just type “churrasco Rio de Janeiro” into Google. They’ll probably be one within two blocks of wherever you’re standing. Brazilian know how to cook meat and they cook every part of the cow. Go for lunch and then plan on laying down for the rest of the day.

19. Watch Some Capoeira I’m sure there will be groups playing capoeira in the parks and beaches during the Olympics. With the exception of açaí, I don’t think there is a more uniquely Brazilian export. Capoeira is a Brazilian martial practiced to music and dance. I wrote a post explaining the history and practice of capoeira. For now, I’ll just say if you see a circle of people wearing white, singing and clapping, while two people dance around each other in the middle, stop and watch for a few minutes.

20. Beer, Snacks, and a Lovely View at Bar Urca This is a more personal recommendation. Back in our childless Rio days, my husband and I lived very close to the Urca neighborhood, which sits just on the inside of Guanarbara in the shadow of Sugar Loaf. The neighborhood is quiet with beautiful houses and a magnificent view of the bay and Rio. Bar Urca is just across the street from the water. Late afternoon you should go grab a beer or soda, a basket of pasteis, take them to the stone wall overlooking the water, and enjoy the view and company. You won’t regret it.

That’s it. I’m out of suggestions and advice. There are of course so many more things to do and ways to get into trouble than I’ve mentioned in my post. I don’t surf, so I can’t advise on best beaches for waves. I’m not a thrill seeker and have never had any desire to go hang gliding in Rio, and I’m not much of a live music in a bar person. The city of Bossa Nova is wasted on me. But Rio is known for all of these things. Rio has a lot to offer tourists than the beach and a stomach bug.

You can see from the pictures, we’ve had family of all ages visiting Rio and Brazil for years and our biggest emergency has been running out of toilet paper in the apartment. With a little planning and a few precautions, Rio de Janeiro can be an amazing experience. Just leave the passport in the room and bring the bug spray.

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August 3, 2016
10 Tips to Survive Rio de Janeiro
Last week my family and I were waiting in the citizens service area of the US Consulate in Rio de Janeiro, and I overhead a young man pouring out a pretty tragic story to the consulate staff standing opposite the bullet proof glass. He’d been robbed and had lost every single form of id, all his credit cards, and all his cash. He was left with no proof of identity whatsoever.

My husband and I cringed at the guy’s story. As a woman, I know we shouldn’t blame the victim. A person should be able to walk down any street with his house deed and gold bullion spilling out of his pockets without the threat of violence. But dude! You walked around Rio with all of your documents in your pockets? Come on!

Because I have been a recently arrived foreigner in Rio without a word of Portuguese other than Obrigada and with the Rio Olympics opening in less than week, I’ve written down some tips to help visitors ~~survive~~ enjoy their time in Rio. The tips are gathered from my own experience in Rio and the advice my Carioca (native of Rio de Janeiro) husband gave me when I first arrived.
1. Leave Your Passport in the Hotel Safe Do not walk around Rio with your passport in your back pocket. Take a driver’s license, or even better a student id, just something with a picture and name so that your body could be identified. (I’m not saying you’ll be shot. Even though Rio does have an incredibly high violent crime rate, you’re much more likely to die in a car accident or crushed by a hastily constructed bikeway.)
2. Carry Cash Only or 1 Credit Card at Most Every touristy area in the world has pickpockets and canceling stolen cards is a major pain. Save yourself the worry. Also, withdraw a bunch of cash at the airport (Don’t carry it all at once or in the same pocket), so you can leave your ATM card back at the hotel too.
3. Speaking of Cash…Always Have Small Bills Many taxi drivers will tell you they cannot break a fifty. They will swear to it on their mother’s life, and then demand you pay them with what you have. Unless you enjoy arguing in Portuguese, always have 10s and 20s on you. Small bills are also more convenient for food vendors and stalls in the markets.
4. Carry a Purse/Backpack But Don’t Put Your Cards or Phone In It This advice I got from my husband my first day in Rio. Many women in Rio carry dummy purses with an old wallet that has some cash. Their credit card and id are in a back pocket.
5. Don’t Wear A Lot of Jewelry I know. We should all be able to wear whatever we want whenever we want, but maybe while on vacation in a foreign country it’s best to accept reality as is and save showy displays of wealth for your home turf. Wearing your gold necklaces and diamond rings will not in anyway improve your trip. Leave them at home. Besides Cariocas are generally a casual beach people. If you want to blend in, you should be going around in shorts and flip flops anyway.
6. And if you want to Blend in…Sunscreen! The surest way to find the tourists strolling through Ipanema is to look for the pinkest people. Even though it’s winter in Brazil, last week was 80 in Rio, and the sun was intense. I know. We had to walk around downtown in direct sun with an impatient preschooler. Pack sunscreen (It will be crazy expensive in Rio) and use it.
7. What You Bring to the Beach: Towel, Flip Flops, and Cash Tucked in Your Bathing Suit That’s it people. You leave the hotel already in your bathing suit & cover up and carry nothing other than your towel. You can rent chairs and buy snacks on the beach. This was a huge cultural adaptation for me. I come from Atlanta, and my family’s summer trips to the beach involved a cooler, a half dozen canvas totes, and a wheelbarrow. True statement.
8. The Ocean is For Admiring Not Swimming At this point most people have heard about Rio’s toxic bay and surrounding waters. I do feel a bit like I’m beating a dead horse that died from a super bacteria picked up after drinking out of Guanabara Bay, and I have taken lots of pictures of children playing happily in the water at Ipanema and Leblon beaches. But those local kids have immunity that visitors don’t. If you want to take the very real risk of spending your vacation hydrating on a bathroom floor, then by all means, dive in.
9. Deet I recommend insect repellent with the highest level of deet that doesn’t immediately give you cancer. Mosquitoes are a problem in Rio. Any exploration around the bay or into the forests around Rio absolutely demands bug spray. You do not want dengue! Sorry…what about zika? Oh sure, zika is terrible if contracted while pregnant for its potential to pass on devastating birth defects. Dengue can straight up kill you. It did kill 843 people in Brazil last year, and this years there’s been about 9 times more dengue cases than zika. Either way, dengue or zika, you’re gonna want to use repellent.
10. Be Alert Don’t be the idiot that’s so focused on getting the perfect selfie you’ve failed to realize you’re group of obvious tourists is alone on the street. My husband looks over both shoulders every few seconds when walking through Rio out of habit. He’s confirmed this level of vigilance is every bit as exhausting you’d imagine, but he developed the habit after being robbed twice. Just pick a designated driver for your group. Someone who can be in charge of risk management while everyone else has a good time.
This is the most depressing list of travel advice. I realize that. But before angry Cariocas start posting in the comment stream about the foreigner who doesn’t appreciate their magnificent city, I’m going to do a second post on all the great experiences in Rio. Now that everyone knows how to stay safe, I can recommend awesome things to do with the free time not being used up with emergency trips to the consulate or hospital. Come back on Wednesday for 10 Tips to Enjoy Rio.

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August 1, 2016
Festa Junina a Brazilian Fall Festival

We were walking the streets of Rio de Janeiro yesterday when my daughter piped up “Hey, it’s Festa Junina!” I shook my head and tolld her Festa Junina was last month. She insisted and pointed to a street vendor whose stall was decorated with primary colored flags and a stereo blaring forro music. My kid was right. This vendor was still celebrating Festa Junina. My husband, a native of Rio, explained it this way. “Whatever the party, it always lasts a month longer in Rio.”

In that spirit, I thought a post about Festa Junina in July makes total sense.

Kiddo’s very first Festa Junina!

Festa Junina celebrations, which happen with varying degrees of enthusiasm throughout Brazil, can be traced back to the Pagan tradition of worshiping the summer solstice. The Catholic church then hijacked this festival by assigning June 24 to Saint John the Baptist, and Portugal brought traditional Saint John celebrations to Brazil during colonization.

This is me eating a sweet soup called Canjica. Basically, take corn, add condensed milk, cloves, and heat it up.

Over the centuries, many Festa Junina traditions and celebrations have become entirely secular and blended with other cultures and annual events that happen at this time in Brazil. For example, June is when the corn gets harvested, and about 97% of traditional Festa Junina food is corn based. Salty and sweet. Eaten off the cob and baked into cakes. In soups and as snacks. Seriously, I had no idea there were so many ways to prepare corn, and they’re all delicious.

While many places in Brazil celebrate Festa Junina on the night of June 23 with an official holiday on the 24th, in the Southeast where I’ve lived, Festa Junina parties happen any Friday or Saturday during the month of June. Or if you’re a university club in Rio, every Friday and Saturday in June.

There are fireworks, dancing, carnival games, straw hats and painted freckles (girls) or a painted moustache (boys), and usually at least one mock wedding. I haven’t read exactly how the mock weddings became a staple of Festa Junina parties, but I have a theory. Saint Anthony is considered the patron saint of marriage because he helps single women get husbands so many offerings and prayers are sent to Saint Anthony on his day, June 13. In addition to June being a time when marriage is on the brain, bringing the corn harvest to market was one of the few times people in rural areas got to meet someone they weren’t related to. Oh, and how convenient to have your wedding at the same time as the already scheduled festival! You can save tons on catering! Thus Festa Junina became a day of many weddings.

At my daughter’s school, it’s always Year 4 that stages a mass mock wedding, and this year it was finally her turn. That meant her Festa Junina costume was a wedding dress with a veil, and she LOVED it. It also meant extra time on stage because in addition to the mock wedding, all grade levels perform a quadrilha, a traditional dance done during Festa Junina but with preschoolers is really just a lot of jumping and arm waving.

In my personal opinion, the best part about Festa Junina is the food, but I feel that way about all carnivals and festivals. Any event that has portable grills and homemade sweets being set up on folding tables arranged around ring toss and fishing games is something I’d be delighted to attend.

Even the teachers dress up!

When not performing mock weddings, Tio Rafa can be found coaching soccer.

Is there a culture that doesn’t have fishing games at festivals?

The grooms waiting for the brides to arrive

One bride is always brought in riding in a wheelbarrow. I have no idea why, but it’s super cute.

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July 28, 2016
Hamilton: A Musical & My Inspiration

I recently confessed to planning an entire trip to New York City around a preschooler. Housing, excursions, food…It was all for her. With the exception of Tuesday night. Because while our daily itinerary was planned around her, she was not the reason for the trip. Hamilton was the reason for trip. Ok, fine. My obsession with Hamilton was the reason for the trip.

You can explain Hamilton in one sentence. Hamilton is a new musical on Broadway about one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. You can explain Hamilton in a thousand sentences. And even a thousand sentences, based on the endless articles, tv interviews, books, upcoming documentary, and record breaking ticket sales, isn’t enough to fully convey the extraordinary phenomenon that is Hamilton. It is the hottest ticket in New York City and my personal inspiration for over a year.

I first heard about Hamilton from my parents in Atlanta. During our weekly Facetime, they mentioned watching a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about a new musical off-Broadway that I’d probably like given my love of theater and American history. It was about a founding father and used rap and hip hop music. They couldn’t remember the creator’s name during the conversation, but they knew he’d written both the score and the lyrics. I knew immediately who they had to be talking about. Lin-Manuel Miranda. I had the soundtrack to his first musical In the Heights. I’d watched his improvised Tony acceptance rap on YouTube a few times. I’d loved his guest spot on House.

I went on YouTube and found the Sunday Morning segment.

This segment was posted on YouTube on March 8, 2015, so my obsession with Hamilton has lasted fifteen months and is still going strong.

After watching the CBS report, I began hunting the internet for articles, clips, interviews, anything related to Hamilton. I’d manage to go a few weeks without typing “Hamilton Musical” into the search box. Just long enough for there to be new hits when I inevitably sent Google scouring again.

I’ve never been one to fangirl. I have loved movies and cheered in the stands for a favorite team. But I’ve never painted my entire face and worn a giant foam hat chanting in unison in below freezing temperatures. I’ve never spent six months salary on replica Storm Troopers costume and blaster. I’ve never loved anything enough to wait in line for more than one hour.

Until Hamilton.

In late September my husband asked what I wanted for our anniversary. “There’s only one thing I want. To see Hamilton on Broadway.” I said this with zero expectation it would happen. I answered honestly to let him off the hook from having to shop for a present I’d certainly appreciate but wouldn’t have desperately wanted. I’d accepted my contact with Hamilton would be through the cast album and YouTube videos. Planning a trip from Brazil to New York City with a four-year old just to see a musical was totally ridiculous.

A week later my husband said “Let’s do it. Let’s go to New York.”

I immediately called my parents. If there was a chance for this to work we’d need babysitters. I love my kid, but if she threw a tantrum in the middle of Act I, it would be a life threatening situation for her. Fortunately, my parents are always up for a trip north of the Mason-Dixon line.

I bought our Hamilton tickets on October 20, 2015 for May 24, 2016. I’d have to wait seven months, but I was able to buy the tickets directly from the box office at face value. At the time, I had no idea what a huge deal that would turn out to be. I must have been the last average person to get seats at face value. By the time I posted pictures of the event on Facebook, the most common response was some version of “How the hell did you get tickets?!”

With everything booked and paid for, the only thing left to do was cross my fingers and hope that on Tuesday, May 24, 2016, Lin-Manuel Miranda would be in excellent health and onstage. For as amazing as the musical seemed, seeing Miranda perform was equally important to me. He’d become an unwitting mentor to my fledgling writing career.

At the same time as Hamilton was debuting off-Broadway in early 2015, I quit my job as a teacher to devote myself to writing and publishing my first novel. I was anxious. I was antsy. I’d given myself two years to get an agent. I announced this to family and friends not realizing that two years is a laughably short time in the publishing world. Congressional cycles come faster than novel debuts. But I was ignorant of the alternate reality publishing exists in and worried that at 32 years old I was running out of time to build a career.

When I was at my highest levels of anxiety, I’d rewatch a segment on Hamilton done by MSNBC. (Seriously, I’ve watched hours of Hamilton content on YouTube.) Miranda is asked what advice he’d give his younger self, and he says “Life is long not short…To really get it right, you think ‘Oh my gosh, look at this amazing first draft’ then you realize what ten whacks at it can do to it.” In the same interview, Miranda reveals he spent one year writing “My Shot”. One year for one song.

This was a crucial lesson I hadn’t yet learned about creative genius. It doesn’t happen in the first draft. Oh, the foundation might be there. The roots of something amazing may have taken hold but what is considered great is never someone’s first draft. Great work requires patience. That was a revelation.

Suddenly all the advice about getting beta readers and critique partners and the moaning of authors on twitter about fourth and fifth drafts weren’t the words of struggling writers but the necessary practices of good writers. No book sitting on a shelf at a book store is a first draft.

Confession. I made it through high school with top grades and never wrote a second draft. I thought second drafts were for losers. Turns out I didn’t know everything at eighteen.

Because here’s Miranda, a Tony Award winner who can improvise a mind blowing acceptance speech in verse, saying it took him a year to write one song. Another article mentioned how he was tweaking lyrics right up until the recording of the cast album. The New York times talked about how he struggled to write the ending going through multiple versions. The book Hamilton: The Revolution is about the years of collaboration and work that went into Hamilton.

Those years paid off. Hamilton was the most amazing theater experience of my life. I was in tears before the opening number was over. It was epic because every detail was right. I remember the way the lights changed at a stomp of King George’s foot to fabulous comedic effect. I remember Jefferson’s truly spectacular purple ensemble for his grand entrance in Act II. The intensity with which Leslie Odom Jr. delivered every line. Miranda’s complete breakdown after Hamilton’s forgiven by his wife. The banjo in “Room Where it Happens”. God, I love that banjo. The ensemble member who traces the trajectory of that fatal bullet in slow motion. It was all perfect.

And that level of perfection takes patience. You can’t nail every detail at the same time. You have to tweak them one by one over the course of weeks, months, and years with constant feedback and help. I’m trying to keep that in mind when I grit my teeth at the prospect of reworking my first chapter for the tenth time. When I get feedback from an editor saying this is great just rework these parts, and I’m so very tempted to interpret this is “this is great” as “this is good enough” and be done with it. Patience is a challenge for me. Accepting that “life is long” and I do have years to get it right is very difficult for me.

Thankfully, I have Miranda and Hamilton for inspiration to remind me that good enough is not great. I can just listen to his words. Or read his book. Wear the t-shirt. Look at the poster. Drink from the mug. Or the water bottle…

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June 21, 2016
Brazilian Snack Foods: They nailed it!

There’s so much bad news coming out of Brazil lately. The economy is still in tatters. The president is impeached. The interim president is according to most sources a mysogynist, corrupt pig. (And those are the nice names people are using for him.) Any waterbased Olympic events will require the athletes to wear hazmat suits. Zika.

I feel bad for Brazil. She’s like a good friend that’s going through a majorly shitty time in her life. When you have a friend struggling, you try to tell her it’s not all her fault. (#blameportugal) You try to look at her situation analytically. (In Brazil’s case that might make your head explode.) And finally you find the silver lining. Which in Brazil’s case is…Hold on…Give me a minute…

The weather! Brazil, you have amazing weather. And vacation spots. And fruit. Oh, something man-made? Uh…

Snack food. Brazilians have nailed snack food in a way superior to any country I’ve ever lived in. Brazil has upped the snacking game to a point it’s an independent category of food. Look in a Brazilian cookbook and it’s possible to find, main courses, sides, desserts, and salgados.

I’ve been asked by students how to translate salgados into English. You can’t. The best I’ve come up with is “a variety of salty, heavy snack foods that can be either fried or baked and are usually eaten individually as between meal snacks or in miniature forms at parties.” If anyone can suggest a single word in English to convey, please let me know, but I don’t think there is one. And hors d’oeuvre doesn’t cut it. A full-sized salgado is easily a meal in itself. A coffee and coxinha will set you up for hours.

Here’s a rundown on the typical salgados you’ll find in Brazil. I have a broad definition of salgado (see above), and I’m sure a few Brazilian purists will take issue with some of the food I’ve included on my list. Also, I’m sure I’ve forgotten some traditional favorites as well. My apologies.

Pão de quiejo…nom,nom,nom

Pão de Queijo: I’m putting this first because it is one of my absolute favorite things about Brazil. Yup, of all things that come from Brazil, my husband, my daughter, and pão de queijo are my favorites. This is a ball of cheesy, doughy deliciousness that can be served at breakfast, with afternoon coffee, or on party platters. Pão de quiejo can range in size from golf-ball to grown man’s fist, but when it comes to pão de queijo, bigger is always better. Trust me.

It’s important to observe local customs when abroad. Pasteis and caipirinha.

Pastel: A light pastry dough that is stuffed with deliciousness, folded over, and fried. Like pão de qeuijo, pastéis (plural form) can come the size of your palm of the size of your face. Shaped like a half circle or rectangle, the traditional fillings include ground beef, palm heart, mozzarella, shrimp, a kind of cream cheese, and chicken. They are delicious at ten in the morning with sugar cane juice or at seven at night with a caipirinha. I suspect they’re delicious at every hour of the day.

Empanadas go very well with lattes.

Empanada: Ok, this is one of the debatable entries because many people/sites equate empanada (a Spanish dish) and pastel (the Brazilian version). I’ll grant the overall concept is the same. Dough folded around a filling usually shaped in a half circle. But based on my personal experience with snack food in Brazil (which is fairly extensive I’m proud to say), the empanada and pastel are different things here primarily because of the dough. The empanada dough is thicker and not as flaky as the pastel. Also, empanadas seem to be baked whereas pastéis seem to be fried. Am I totally wrong about this? Are they the same? Am I the only one who cares? Also, don’t confuse an empanada with an…

Empada: Again dough, filling, baked, but the empada is more like a pie or casserole. The dough is much thicker and tends to become sticky when wet thus gluing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. It’s one of my least favorite salgados for this reason.

Kibe is yummy!

Kibe: An import from the Middle East and North Africa and a staple of party platters everywhere in Brazil. It mixes flour and ground beef into a football (oh, American football) shaped snacking delight. Sometimes there’s a cream cheese filling, but that’s only done if you hate your guests.

So it’s shaped like Picasso’s version of a chicken leg.

Coxinha: As far as I know, this is the only salgado with an origin story. A son of Princess Isabel (the last royal in charge of Brazil) would only eat chicken legs (even royal kids are brats about food). One day the kitchen was out chicken legs so the chef shredded chicken meat and put it inside a flour dough crust shaped like a drumstick. The little prince approved and now coxinhas are served in miniature at every children’s party. You can get them at pretty much any cafe or bakery. Coxinha is the heaviest item on the list, especially if there’s cream cheese in the center of the chicken filling. It’s like snacking on a small cannonball. A very delicious cannonball.

Açaí. It’s pronounced like an “s” people. No hard “c” here.

Juices, Açaí bowls, quiches, etc: I know juice and açaí don’t count as salgados. They are however staples of the Brazilian snacking experience. When my cousin visited Rio, we did a juice crawl through Ipanema. She tried fruits that the staff cringed from. In the heat of Brazil, nothing beats a bowl of cold açaí covered in bananas and strawberries. And of course cafes always have a variety of quiches and cakes to choose from.

Brazil is a great country for snacking. They have great coffee for the daytime, great caipirinhas for the nighttime and plenty of savory goodies for anytime. I just recommend a gym membership if you’re going to be staying any length time of here.

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June 13, 2016
Dear Brazil, It’s Portugal’s Fault.

I’m currently obsessed with an idea for a historical fiction novel and have spent the last week devouring books on colonial Brazil. (I know you’re jealous.) It’s been fascinating reading actually because it’s all entirely new history for me. It wasn’t until World History in high school that I even knew humans existed outside of Europe, and by “Europe” I mean Italy, France, and Britain with a brief stop in Germany for the Reformation. Any ideas I have about Portugal or South America I learned from Columbus Day themed picture books and Disney’s Emperor’s New Groove.

Turns out the Portuguese did more than just finance Columbus. They dominated maritime exploration in the 15th century, and that’s how little Portugal ended up with the enormous colony of Brazil. After a week of research, I now understand the root of all of Brazil’s problems. Portugal.

Everything is Portugal’s fault.

Let’s take education. Brazil does not have a single university in anybody’s top 100 Schools in World list. I recently read an article that could be summed up as “Brazilian have started buying books!” I can’t remember that last time I went to the beach and saw someone reading a book and I’m at the beach almost every weekend. Which makes perfect sense in a country that had printing presses, books, and universities banned for the first 300 years of its existence.

Yes, Portugal controlled Brazil for 300 years before it allowed a university to be built or a printing press to operate. Put another way, book circulation was banned for a century longer than it’s been legal in Brazil. Thanks Portugal!

Do you think Brazil’s government is a quagmire of ineffective bureaucracy staffed by people who are allergic to work? When the Portuguese court fled Napoleon and established itself in Rio de Janeiro, it brought between 10,000 and 15,000 people. When John Adams moved the US government from Philadelphia to Washington D.C., he moved 1,000 employees. And all those 10,000 people who came with the court expected a stipend from the government. Today, public pensions are currently bankrupting Brazil. Thanks Portugal!

Brazil is currently hosting a global event. No, not the Olympics. I’m talking about the largest corruption scheme in the history of democracy, the Lava Jato case in which federal politicians awarded contracts and got kickbacks to the tune of billions of dollars.

It’s actually totally understandable that Congressmen and their friends all expected rewards. When Prince Regent João showed up in Rio, the crown was flat broke, so he just started selling titles to wealthy Brazilian merchants. Prince João gave out more titles in eight years than his ancestors had in the previous three centuries. You get to be a Baron! And you get to be a Baron! And you get to be a Baron! (This is assuming you’d like to make a donation to the Court, of course.) Those of us at the top have to get each others’ backs, amiright? It’s Brazilian tradition. Thanks, Portugal!

I’ve wondered since arriving back in 2006 why the fifth largest country in the world in terms of land area seems to use two lanes roads almost exclusively. Why? Why am I sharing a single lane between states with all the 18-wheeled trucks? Because it was illegal to build roads between states until after João and his court arrived in 1808, 300 years after the Portuguese took control of the territory. And factories weren’t allowed. So no industrialization. Which means no trains. Thanks, Portugal!

I’ve learned all this from 1808 The Flight of the Emperor by Laurentino Gomes. It’s an engrossing telling of an unbelievable true story. One of the most striking accounts of colonial Brazil was from a woman, Maria Graham, arriving in Brazil for the first time. As her ship sailed up, she gushed over the picturesque city of Salvador with it’s beautiful white homes and striking setting on a cliffside. She called it “a city, magnificent in appearance from the sea.” Her opinion changed dramatically once walking the streets of the city. She describes Salvador as no less than “the filthiest place I ever was in.”

19th century Salvador by Joseph Alfred Martinet

While I did not consider Rio anywhere close to the filthiest place I’ve ever been (I lived in a coed dorm in college), I did go through the exact same swing in emotions when first arriving in Brazil. Looking out the plane window, I was in awe of Rio’s beauty. Then I left the airport. The view out the car window was…disappointing in comparison.

Two hundred years separates Graham’s arrival and mine, yet our reactions were nearly identical. Culture is a powerful yet often unconscious shaper of our behavior. I have a university degree in this. I shouldn’t need a reminder, but this book was just that. Now, I understand. The next time I have to argue about whether the phrase “copy of your passport” means just the information page or all pages in the book, or I bounce along a road filled with potholes but with wifi coverage, or I read about another politician who’s been suspended due to a corruption scandal, I’m not blaming Brazil. I’m blaming Portugal.

Because it’s all Portugal’s fault (#blameportugal). And they didn’t even leave a legacy of good wine. Thanks a lot, Portugal.

May 16, 2016
Brazil’s Political Crisis Explained for Non-Brazilians
A week ago, Brazil’s House of Deputies voted 367 to 137 to impeach President Dilma Rousseff. The vote lasted five hours and involved a lot of unnecessary shouting, spitting, and confetti.

I’m sure you heard about the impeachment vote even if you live outside of Brazil and aren’t following international politics. You might also have seen a headline about a corruption scandal in Brazil involving billions of dollars in public funds. Maybe you’ve read something about Brazil’s collapsing economy. The country’s gotten a lot of headlines in the last few months and a person could understandably be wondering, “What the hell is going on in Brazil?”

Here’s what’s going on in Brazil with enough context to paint a painfully vivid picture and enough jokes to make it palatable. To understand the extent of the seething rage under Brazilians’ normally chill exteriors, I need to jump back in time three decades.

Brazil is a relatively young democracy. The army seized control in 1964 and stayed in power until the mid-80s. The generals perfectly followed every page of the Military-Dictator Handbook, repressing speech, organizing, and all social rights. By 1980 student, workers, and militants were pushing back, and that year there were massive strikes organized, among others, by a young Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva aka Lula. Remember him. He’ll show up again. And again. And again until it becomes painfully ironic.

The strikes and protests helped lead to a “redemocratization” and a new constitution was adopted on October 5, 1988, making Brazil’s current government younger than I am.

The National Congress in Brasilia, currently hosting many future inmates.

The Constitution divided the Federal Government into three parts just like in the US: Legislative, Executive, and Judicial. Differently than the US, both the Executive branch and the Federal Government in general are much more powerful than in the US. Don’t be fooled by the constant use of flip-flops and nicknames in Brazil. The country is extremely hierarchical. It’s a cultural legacy brought to Brazil by Portugal’s policy of ruling colonies by refusing to build universities or even roads in order to keep people in total subjugation.

The current constitution reflects this deeply embedded hierarchy by giving certain powers and privileges to members of the federal government. For example, members of Congress, cabinet ministers, and the President can only be investigated and tried by the Supreme Court. Currently 303 members of Congress are facing criminal charges or under investigation, so the Justices must be pretty busy. At least the President of the Supreme Court gets the perk of being fifth in line to assume the presidency in the event of a political disaster.

Speaking of which, Dilma’s impeachment is actually the second impeachment of Brazil’s young republic. They impeached the guy back in ’92, but given the awful state of Brazil’s economy then, a presidential impeachment probably barely made the front page. The economic situation in Brazil throughout the 80s and early 90s was terrible. Like invest in precious metals because the country is on its third currency bad. The inflation rates looked more like typos than real data. People ran to the grocery store on payday snatching items off the shelves before the clerk could put a new price sticker on it.

During these turbulent early years of the republic, the Worker’s Party, (known as PT) which got started during the strikes in 1980, was the leader of the opposition coalition in Brazil.

Embracing its roots as the voice of the working classes, PT fought against the deeply entrenched economic elite and policies that facilitated a huge wealth gap. Lula ran for president as the PT candidate four times before finally winning in 2002. You only fail when you quit, right? At this point the economy had stabilized. Lula initiated some social welfare programs that lifted millions out of poverty. China began buying everything that Brazil could produce. The economy took off. By 2006 developed countries were like “Hey Brazil, when did you guys show up to the party? We gave your chair to India a few years ago, but we can ask for it back.”

An Economist cover from 2009

For the first time in 20 years, Brazil had a growing economy and stable government. In 2011 Brazil passed the United Kingdom to become the 6th largest economy in the world. Brazilians were pumped, proud, and ready to finally take their place as a global power.

All this history is to give you some idea of the soul-crushing societal let down that happened when the shit hit the fan in 2014.

From a growth rate of 7.5% in 2010, Brazil’s economy shrank 3.8% in 2015. Today, Brazil is the 9th largest economy behind Italy, which has a fraction of the people and arable land. Unemployment is 8.2% and inflation is 9.4%, compared the government’s target rate of 4.5%. All those numbers are just to say that the country’s in its second year of recession and people are pissed.

At the same time that Brazil’s economy was headed down the toilet, the largest corruption scandal in any democratic country ever was uncovered. Now is the time for popcorn because this story makes House of Cards seem small time and easy to follow.

Back in the 90s, there was a humble money launderer who made a decent living hiding illegal income of politicians. He was arrested, convicted, served his time, and released. By the mid 00s, federal police noticed he was back in business. Apparently in Brazil, money launderers are like great Mexican restaurants. They’re rare and if you find one, you keep going back even if you know deep down it’s probably being investigated by public authorities.

Well, police grabbed the humble launderer and the guy, who’d been to jail before and was not doing that again, cut a deal and started dropping names. And more names. And more names. Police had uncovered a corruption scheme amounting to more the $5.3 billion and involving the most powerful political and economic players in Brazil, the now internationally infamous Lava Jato case.

From 2004-2014 political leaders through the state owned oil company, Petrobras, awarded contracts to companies that grossly overcharged the government, and the companies used some of that excess payment to say “thank you” to congressmen and party leaders for awarding them the contracts in the first place. Nothing shows appreciation like a stack of cold hard cash.

And what party was in control of Congress and the Executive at this time? PT and its coalition partners. The Worker’s Party. The party that built it’s reputation on fighting for working class citizens against the privileged elite was the driving force behind the largest theft of taxpayer’s money in the history of democracy. (I told you Lula’s story got ironic.)

Foto Oficial Presidenta Dilma Rousseff. Foto: Roberto Stuckert Filho.

PT is also President Dilma’s party.

Back in 2015 when the investigation really took off, Dilma had NOT been implicated in the investigation. Everyone around was. PT’s treasurer is currently in jail. Lula’s former chief of staff is there too. Lula himself was under investigation. But not Dilma.

The thing is…Dilma was Chairwoman of Petrobras at exactly the time when the corruption was happening. That left 3 possibilities concerning her involvement:
1. She knew about and participated.
2. She knew about it but did nothing to stop it.
3. She didn’t have a clue Petrobras was overpaying by billions of dollars and was the worst chairperson in history.
All possibilities made Dilma look bad. Her approval rating plummeted to 13% only 3 months after her second inauguration in 2015.

And a cover from 2015

So to recap, by July of 2015 Brazil was grappling with shattered expectations, a terrible economy, an epic corruption scandal, and a universally disliked president. The Brazilian people were understandably furious at the government for blowing the country’s best chance in a century to really improve quality of life and become a global player.

However, none of these things is grounds for impeachment. According to the Constitution, a president can only be impeached for committing a crime while in office.

So how did Dilma end up getting impeached? We’re stepping into the political muck now. Put your boots on.

October 7, 2015 The Federal Accounting Tribunal files for impeachment accused Dilma of fiscal pedaling in 2014. They claim Dilma forced the state controlled bank to make social programs payments from the bank’s own funds because the government was short on money and her administration was trying to hide that fact during an election year. Technically, the federal government cannot payoff its own debts with the bank’s funds, but it’s been done by every president. It’s very shaky legal ground, like a frozen pond in spring during an earthquake shaky.

December 2, 2015 After ignoring the impeachment request for months, Eduardo Cunha, Brazil’s equivalent of Speaker of the House, formally accepts the charges. He does this hours after PT drops its support of Cunha in an ethics committee investigation of him on charges of bribery, tax evasion, and money laundering. But he swears, cross his heart-and-hope-to-die, he didn’t advance the impeachment out of spite.

December 17, 2015 The Supreme Court defines the impeachment process because the Chamber of Deputies can’t get its act together and form a commission of 65 deputies to consider the charges with any semblance of openness and fairness. The Court rejects two commissions formed by the Chamber, and the proceedings are paused indefinitely.

March 4, 2016 As part of the Lava Jato investigation, prosecutors bring former president Lula in for questioning. Federal Police raid his home. People freak out both for and against him.

March 11 In a jaw-dropping move, prosecutors ask for preventive detention for Lula. Lula supporters clashed with police when he was being taken for questioning. There is no doubt an actual arrest would spark violence.

March 13 Millions take to the streets in the largest anti-government protest in Brazilian history. The people weren’t protesting only Dilma’s administration. Several opposition politicians got booed off the mic when they tried to speak. It was truly The People v. The Federal Government.

March 14 In what has to be the most blatant middle-finger giving from a democratically elected president, President Dilma doubles down and starts discussing appointing Lula for a cabinet position! F.U. anti-government protestors! Dilma wants to make Lula Ministro de Casa Civil, the chief administrator for the Executive and the most powerful person after the president. Oh, and remember that members of the federal government can only be investigated by the Supreme Court, so the case against Lula would be moved away from the prosecutors currently investigating him. But it’s for the good of Brazil, guys!

March 15 Plea-deal testimony from Senator Delcídio do Amaral, the head of PT in the senate, is released and he testifies that Dilma’s Education Minister offered him a bribe in exchange for not working with prosecutors. He also says that President Dilma knew all about the corruption happening at Petrobras during her time as chairwoman. I can finally fill in my Dilma square on my Lava Jato Bingo card!

How convenient for future casting directors that Moro is an attractive man in real life.

March 16 Judge Sergio Moro, in charge of the Lava Jato case, releases a recording of a call between President Dilma and Lula revealing 1) that prosecutors had tapped a former president’s phone! and 2) Dilma seems to be appointing Lula only to keep him out of jail. While everyone freaked out over the phone call, a few did question if Judge Moro should have given up completely on judicial impartiality and released recordings in an ongoing investigation from a tap with a just-expired warrant.

March 17 Lula is sworn in as Minister. A new impeachment commission is sworn in. Basically, a lot of swearing happened in Brazil this day.

March 18 Supreme Court Justice Gilmar Mendes suspends Lula’s appointment on the grounds it was a blatant attempt to keep him from going to jail. Justice Mendes said it with more legal jargon but that was the gist of his decision. Also, large protests happen across Brazil against impeachment.

Can we say “future political career”?

March 22 The Supreme Court removes Judge Moro from Lula’s case to review his decision to release the recorded conversation. The Supreme Court will now oversee the investigation against Lula. Oh well, he can console himself with the fact people are wearing his face on t-shirts.

March 29 PMDB, the largest party in PT’s coalition, drops out and pledges to support Dilma’s impeachment. PMDB is also the party of Vice President Michel Temer, so things got super awkward at the Presidential Palace.

April 11 The Commission to the consider Dilma’s impeachment votes 38-27 in favor of impeachment. The question will now be to a vote by the Full House of Deputies. Fun Fact: Of the 65 members on the Impeachment Commission, 37 are facing criminal charges themselves. I think the vote concluded with a Deputy ironically shouting “If we burn, you burn with us!”

April 13 President Dilma publicly accuses Vice President Temer of conspiring against her.

April 17 The House of Deputies votes 367 – 137 in favor of impeachment, more than securing the two-thirds majority needed to pass.

And that brings us to today. The Senate has until May 11 to vote on the issue and simple majority is enough to suspend Dilma and start a trial.

A lot of people celebrated after the impeachment, but despite the anger and disappointment with Dilma’s administration support for impeachment is at 61%. A majority but not the super majority you might expect given Dilma’s 10% approval rating.

Ideally, the only question would be “Did Dilma commit a crime by using state bank funds to make government payments?” and a trial in the Senate would answer that question. Of course, nothing happening in Brazil at the moment is ideal except maybe for vendors of inflatable Lula dolls in prison stripes.

The reason many people have no faith in the current government but don’t support impeachment is because everyone else in line to be president is way WORSE than Dilma. Let’s go through the line of succession.

Temer during the impeachment vote. He seems very cheerful. He’d probably manage to stay positive while stabbing you in the back.

Vice President Temer is also under investigation and facing impeachment charges. He was named in Senator Amaral’s testimony for participating in an illegal ethanol purchasing scheme. His wife is 43 years younger than he is and has his name tattooed on the nape of her neck which I know is not a crime and and I shouldn’t judge but…ick.

Eduardo Cunha, the guy who led the charge for impeachment, is under indictment for taking as much as $40 million in bribes and faces 184 years in prison. He’s also known for aggressively pushing anti-choice legislation and tweeting bible verses. “And Jesus said, ‘Get while the getting’s good’.” Temer has already expressed support for Cunha and said he won’t ask Cunha to step down. Bros before the rule of law, amiright?

Third in line for president is the Senate leader, Renan Calheiros, who is also under investigation for corruption. Among the seven charges the Supreme Court is considering against him are accepting $600,000 to stop a Senate probe into the Lava Jato case and receiving $1.7 million in bribes for a drilling contract.

I think there’s one maid working at the Presidential Palace who isn’t likely to be in jail within the year. Maybe they could offer her the job?

Brazilians are facing a very tough choice in deciding between pro and anti impeachment. Did President Dilma commit a crime worthy of losing office and even if she did…do we give power to lying, hypocritical assholes? Who do you pick when everyone is a criminal?

Some commentators say Brazilians are being duped by a media controlled by that historically entrenched elite. They argue leaders pushing for impeachment are far more corrupt and will hault the Lava Jato once back in power. While it’s true the media here is extremely conservative both politically and socially, I think it’s a pretty patronizing view of the Brazilian people to think more than 60% of the country has been fooled by a handful of smarmy, rich guys. First, Dilma’s government did engage in some shady accounting and as for the Lava Jato case, she’s either guilty or incredibly incompetent. Nobody’s impeaching a saint. Second, from what I personally have seen and read from those in favor of impeachment believe removing Dilma is only the first step, not the last, in rooting out corruption in the government.

Still, it seems unlikely Congress is going to keep impeaching presidents until they get to the President of the Supreme Court, so removing Dilma just puts someone as guilty but more conservative in power who’s likely to stay there. For those against the impeachment, there’s nothing but a line of criminally indicted men from the economic elite pushing Dilma off a cliff. And she’s not even being impeached due to corruption. She’s being impeached for dubious accounting and to those against impeachment, it’s a purely political move.

Enough corruption!

One thing is absolutely clear, no one in Brasilia is removing themselves power. The only thing they all agree on is that they did nothing wrong. If this were Japan, a third of Congress would have committed suicide by now, but alas we’re in Brazil and once elected to office a person becomes immune to shame. They used to be immune from consequences too, but that seems to be finally changing. That’s one thing, at least, Brazilians can be proud of.
April 26, 2016
The World’s Pickiest Beachgoers

Last Saturday, the whole Barineau-Mauricio clan (all three of us) seized the day early (like 10ish) and headed to the beach. It was the kind of day that gets recorded and replayed in every tourist advertisement for the next decade. The temperature was perfect, warm enough to sit comfortably in a bathing suit but not oppressively hot. There was a steady breeze that my husband and daughter exploited for kite flying. It was a perfect beach day.

There were two other families on the beach.

I’m not exaggerating. This is not hyperbole. When we arrived there were two families camped out close to the boardwalk. The next closest people we could see were colorful ants. We looked around in dismay for any food vendor. We’d been banking on supplementing my daughter’s meager breakfast with an ear of corn, but the beach was empty.

Now, before people start shipping furniture and arranging to have their pensions deposited in Brazil, empty beaches are not typical in Brazil, especially not around the cities. Typically, they’re packed so densely you can’t stretch your legs out without kicking the back of someone’s chair. (True story. It was a summer day at Iriri in Espirito Santo. Worst beach day ever!) In Rio de Janeiro, you can’t find a beach with less than a few thousand people on it. Drive past Ipanema on a Tuesday, and you’ll wonder who’s running the city.

That’s not the case here in Vitoria. The empty beaches were one of the biggest shocks moving from Rio to Vitoria. I kept trying to find some explanation. Are Vitoria’s beaches more polluted than Rio’s? Are they more violent? Is there a vicious rip current? A Kraken? Where the hell is everybody?!

After living in Vitoria for almost six years, I’ve figured it out. Capixabas are simply the pickiest beach goers in the world.

Capixaba is the Brazilian term for a person born in Vitoria, the state capital of Espirito Santo. The best English equivalent would be North Carolinian. That state has picturesque mountains and beaches and a generally more conservative population that goes regularly to church and the salon.

Capixabas are incredibly picky about their beach trips. Here are 7 reasons why Capixabas won’t go to the beach.

1. The temperature has dropped below 80°F (26.5°C). If there’s one thing Capixabas fear more than visiting Rio de Janeiro, it’s cold weather. And any temperature in which you can comfortably wear long sleeves is cold. In winter when the high is around 75°F (24°C), my kid will be one of three students whose parents are still allowing them in the pool. Those other all kids have parents from Rio Grande do Sul, the state that’s so far south it’s basically Uruguay.

2. It’s Saturday. Sunday is beach day. Obviously.

3. It rained yesterday. Everything will be wet. And the water will be too cold.

4. It might rain today. Everything will get wet. And to pack everything up and walk across the street only to get rained on would be such a pain.

5. Those clouds are kind of dark. It’s probably going to be chilly with all the clouds. The wind is picking up. It might rain. Better just to wait for a day with no clouds. It’s going to be too cold today anyway.

6. We went to the beach yesterday. If we want to go to the beach everyday we’ll go to a hotel or to our family’s beach house in Guarapari. The beaches in Vitoria are mostly decorative. You can’t use them too much, or they’ll break.

7. It’s too empty. There just aren’t enough people to feel safe. This is the one reason I agree with. The rate of violent crime in Espirito Santo is a tragedy. It’s why we’ve never considered buying a house near the beach even though we go every weekend. I’d love to walk along an empty beach early in the morning or a night, but it wouldn’t be safe. On the other hand, I don’t think two hundred people are required to make beach a safe, and the threat of robbery certainly doesn’t stop people in Rio from swarming Copacabana.

Most excuses are weather related. I assume most Capixabas believe English beaches to be fatal, and I’m not going to try dissuade anyone from that thinking. Mostly because Capixabas are friendly and obsessively follow traffic rules compared to people in Rio. Because nobody’s perfect. But mostly because this way my family and I have the beaches to ourselves from June through September.

Have I missed any excuses, Capixaba friends and readers? Am I totally and completely off-base?

March 21, 2016
My Bilingual Kid Doesn’t Want Your Attention

Having spent the majority of my adult life outside of the United States (mostly in small, homogeneous cities), I’ve gotten used to being the subject of conversation at the next table over. It happens pretty frequently in Vitoria. My husband and I speak in English so people assume I don’t understand their Portuguese freeing them to openly discuss me from two feet away. It happens most frequently with kids and teens, but a surprising number of adults don’t seem to realize that a person could understand both English and Portuguese. In Vitoria, we expats are like endangered wildlife. People know we’re around, but when actually spotted, locals take note.

I don’t mind. Until visitors arrive from another planet, one from another continent is about as alien as it gets for most people in Vitoria. I signed up for the attention when I decided to become an expat.

But my daughter didn’t.

A series of encounters at the park Sunday has, for the first time, made me consider my daughter’s multiculturalism a challenge, a thing she’ll have to learn to deal with.

It also has me weighing the importance of three influences on my daughter’s behavior: my parenting instincts v. my daughter’s personality v. the culture she is growing up in. I’m now asking which of these should win out in the event they’re incompatible.

Here’s what happened.

We arrived at the park just as a craft was beginning and hurried to the classroom. As materials were being handed out, one of the helpers overheard me speaking English and asked where we’re from. I answered, heard about how he’s going to Disney World soon, and then got the VIP crafting upgrade, as he hovered over my shoulder for the duration of the activity asking repeatedly (in English) if my daughter needed help. He was pleasant and wanted to practice his English. No problem.

Then we moved to the playground and while my daughter, the baby dragon, sought refuge in a playhouse from me, the evil sorceress, a girl and boy asked what language we were speaking. I answered, their eyes widened, and they ran off. A few minutes later they were back with more friends who all crowded into the playhouse to stare at my four-year-old, English speaker. My daughter tried to play with them in Portuguese, but the older girl turned to her friends and asked, “Who wants to learn English?” My daughter was not interested in playing teacher when there was sorceress to escape from, so she turned her back on them. They were kids and curious. Ok.

The most bizarre exchange happened as my daughter and I were waiting for my husband to bring the car. We were sword fighting with sticks, so I have no idea what these people heard exactly. “Argh!” “Ah, my leg! I’m bleeding!” But whatever they heard prompted the man to turn to his friend and say “Uma italiana!” I know I opened the door to this exchange by correcting him, but I can’t live in a world where people hear an English speaking American and think Italian.

I smiled and told him “Sou americana.” Their minds were blown. The woman nearly doubled-over laughing and the man’s eyes bugged out as if this was the first time either of them had considered the possibility of a person speaking more than one language. If I had turned invisible, I think they would have been less surprised. The woman sat down on the bench next to my daughter, and the two of them began peppering us with questions, the most notable one being “So you speak Portuguese & French?” They quickly zeroed in on my daughter and began directing their questions to her, clearly not believing she speaks Portuguese and is, in fact, Brazilian. When they asked her for her name, I stiffened. When they asked her for her daddy’s name, I cut them off, said “ciao” and in their wake, made it explicitly clear she was never to give her name or mommy’s or daddy’s name to anyone other than a police officer. The couple hadn’t meant but did cross a line when they asked for personal information from my kid.

My daughter’s final audience of the day came at the end of lunch. She and I were walking back to our table with a much-anticipated chocolate popsicle, and the table next to us began exclaiming to my husband. “Nossa que olhos lindas! Uma loirinha linda!” My daughter has blond hair and blue eyes, the genetic jackpot in Brazil. The entire family at the next table gushed compliments, while my husband played along and joked it was a good thing she took after her mom.

This all happened within two hours. Nothing was said or done out of malice. The people’s motivation ranged from innocent curiosity to sincere appreciation with a heavy dash of racism. Everything interaction was typical. Brazilian culture is open and friendly and community oriented. Strangers talk to each other here. It’s like being in South Georgia without the gnats and shotguns.

But my daughter doesn’t want an audience. My husband and have noticed it. Her teachers noted it in her school report. When the group of kids crowded around my daughter asking her to speak in English, she went silent. When the geographically challenged couple asked for her name, she clutched my arm and hid her face. My daughter doesn’t like being put on the spot. And that is exactly what every stranger who asks her to demonstrate her Portuguese or English is doing. When strangers stare at my daughter, they turn her into a spectacle no matter their intentions.

So what to do about it?

My husband immediately suggested we stop speaking English outside of the apartment. This would eliminate having to always explain that my kid is Brazilian and hearing about people’s Disney vacations, but I’m against it. My daughter is immersed in Portuguese Monday through Friday all day long at school. She needs as much English as possible on the weekend. We’d also limit her English vocabulary to the world of our apartment.

My gut reaction is to tell the spectators, politely but firmly, to go away. I’ll explain that my daughter is shy and since she is Brazilian, we don’t want her to feel singled out in her home. Please, save your questions for another bilingual who’s more comfortable in the spotlight.

The problem with this solution is that it’s extremely American. Like off the charts individualistic. Walls up. Family in. Strangers out. It’s honest. It’s blunt. It’s clear. It’s rude as hell. It’s all of those things. Just depends on your cultural reference. I recently saw an article titled “I Don’t Make My Kid Share” and thought that would never fly in Brazil. Valuing individual property rights over communal harmony would brand you and your kid the biggest jerks on the playground. Not all parenting strategies work equally well in all cultures.

She is Brazilian, living in Brazil, dealing with Brazilians. Shouldn’t I do my best to teach her to understand and navigate her own culture? Is it right to protect her feelings by shutting down people in a culture where small talk is viewed as courteous? Doesn’t she need to be able to cope with the extra attention if it’s going to be part of her reality?

I want to help my daughter balance culture and her personality, and I’m not sure what to say to prepare her for the inevitable questions that come when you are the only one. I grew up a solid member of the majority in everyway possible, but she is often usually the only bilingual, the only American. A little, blue-eyed, Brazilian girl speaking English here in Vitoria is going to make people stop in their tracks and comment.

My plan so far is to tell her she should never talk to strangers without mommy and daddy around. (Safety first.) When we are around, she has an absolute right to remain silent. She doesn’t have to play with or talk to anyone she doesn’t want to. However, I’ll explain people aren’t trying to be mean. They want to learn, and she has the power to teach them. People are curious about her languages and cultures, so when she’s ready, people will be very interested in what she has to say.

And that’s the best idea I’ve got for now.

December 1, 2015